The Way He’s Here–The Way I Long For Heaven

Sometimes I sense the presence of God. Sometimes I sense the Holy Spirit inside of me. Like today, the Holy Spirit was like a blanket over the top of Madeline and Monica and I during Madie’s baptism. But sometimes, I feel Him. Jesus. It’s like the presence of God, but also the presence of a person. Fulfilling one actual, person-sized, space. One day I was singing and church and I felt him walk up behind me and he just put his arms around me while I sang for him. When I left the church he held my hand and we walked out. It was so real I expected someone to shake his hand. When I left the church, He left too.

The idea that God, an unimaginabe, unfathomable, incredible, bigger-than-the-universe being would love us enough to wrap himself in skin. He became like us. Not just in looks. But also in scars. I love the story of Thomas. Thomas wasn’t willing to believe until he saw the scars. And I read that story from my perspective. I remember a youth leader once telling me that Jesus, on the cross, felt all my pain. He didn’t just die for us. He came into our worlds. That part of you that you feel like no one understands–Jesus gets it. Jesus has FELT it. He put himself in the place to feel it… and to conquer it. And with his conquering he gave a promise to us.

Jesus’ promise? He gave up everything and came as a King and a Priest and the God of the Universe to ask us. To ask me. To ask you. To marry him. We, who have nothing, can accept the engagement to be married to the son of God. He has promised he will come back for his bride.

I wanted to talk about Christmas, that being the date. Many girls I think want Christmas engagements. This is what I’m talking about. God arranged a marriage before the world began. In which we, who have nothing, would be promised to the Son who had everything. And the world who stole us and held us captive and took away our pricelessness, would put a price on our heads. And the Son who was dressed in Glory and infinite riches would come and not just pay the price on our heads, which was nearly worthless, but would pay the price of himself, which was infinite. It’s about love. It’s about sacrifice.

I just read the Gospel of John this week, and Jesus talks much about fasting after the groom leaves, waiting for his return. My eyes fill with tears. Tears of longing and tears of Joy. In a world of brokenness we only feel the presence of God sometimes. But He’s coming back for us. And I love him. I love the way He speaks. I love the way He holds my hands. I love the way He loved. And I long to see him face to face. “For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”– 1 Corinthians 13:12

“Oh I’m running to your arms, I’m running to your arms, the riches of your love will always be enough. Nothing compares to your embrace. Light of the world forever REIGN.”